Gerogia Gets Bomb Dropped On It, Has A Cry

News about the current Georgian / Russian incident this week has even reached to the other side of the world, but as usual our media does care so much if it happens way "over there" so heres a brief roundup of what went down this week. Heres what both sides more or less agree on

SOMEONE flew some planes into Georgia, PROBABLY from the north (direction of Russia), circled a bit, stoped for a coffee and crumpet at the local and then proceeded to drop a bomb right near the village of Tsitelubani which is KINDA near the capital of Georgia, Tbilisi. Its about 67km away which i guess is close but in this part of the world where mere meters seperate civilisations, its not THAT close.

The bomb didnt actually explode, it just kinda fell from the plane and landed in some guys field. Georgian officials then rushed to the site and inspected the undetonated device to find it was a Russian made device with lots of crazy Russian writing over it. Still doesnt prove it came from the Russians though.

Unnamed conflict provoker: "ohh yes this plan is as clever as it is ingenius! We will get a Russian made bomb, put even more stupid russian writing on it and then leave it just casually laying around in Georgia, in a slightly, but not overly important area. GENIUS!"

So now Georgia and Russia are arguing over who did what.

* Georgia of course claims Russia sent the planes. The planes came from the north, the bomb is Russian, they even claim to have radar data which shows this. None of this is conclusive.
* Russia is not having any of the sort, flatly denying it did anything. Remember as we found out, they are the peace keepers in the region right?
* In fact, Russia says that it was GEORGIA firing against itself, possibly assuming the role of the "unnamed conflict provoker" above to make it LOOK like Russia did it. Why? Georgia can claim Russia is the big bad boogie man and as they are doing now, insist on all kinda of UN conferences and resolutions, backing up their claims to independance and entry into NATO.

Getting confused?

Its weird the bomb didnt explode, it was sort of just jettisoned from the plane. Was there some fuck up or was the idea to have a Russian made bomb with Russian writing on it purposly sit in a field? Check out this small article I found which has a great angle.

The source said the pilot of the Russian aircraft jettisoned the missile after coming under fire from separatist forces on the ground in South Ossetia, a Moscow-backed breakaway region of Georgia, in an apparent mix up.

"We have the first results of the investigation, according to which (South) Ossetian forces fired a Strela (shoulder-fired anti-aircraft missile) at the fighter jet which had flown from Russia to Georgia."

This shit gets better! So, the Russians flew over South Ossetia, some poor confused South Ossetian soldier gets mixed up, fires a surface to air missle at the plane. Old mate Russian pilot gets ever so awfully confused and accidently drops an unarmed bomb over a stretch of land some distance away? As I informed you before, old mate Russia RUNS South Ossetia, shit they fly the Russian flag at the border! I guess though its not a stretch to think those guys are so confused its easy to believe one bloke with a big assed gun could make such a mistake.

I have no idea whos telling the truth. I know Russia is always painted as the big bad guy but I came to realise in this situation Georgia isnt the shining white bastion of all things good in a post soviet world they claim to be. Then add in those whacky South Ossetians with a Russian hand up their ass and your guess is as good as mine. I think my favourite headline of the day comes from a New Zealand paper, about as far away from the conflict as you can get.

Neighbour claims Russian attack

Yes thats right, while every other paper in the world can say the countries name, New Zealanders wouldnt possibly know where Georgia is, better to just say "neighbours" and let everyone get back to the lattes. Mind you, half of swedes questioned thought I was taking my holiday in the United States.

By Louis Zezeran

Louis Zezeran is an Australian Stand Up comedian and comedy promoter based in Tallinn, Estonia. He was the co-founder of Comedy Estonia, Comedy Finland and Comedy Latvia. Louis writes, does gigs and performs at private events through the Baltics and Finland

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