Ios: Beautiful One Day, Bogan The Next

But Louis, you are such a hater, you are on a beautiful island, enjoy it. Neurosis mate, thats how it works.

My time on Ios has been better, I have come to terms with my countrymen captors and we have a deal, if I stay away from “Disco 69” then we can live in peace. Until today when I was drawn like a deer in headlights to the wet t shirt competition. They have a dude there and his job is to hose the girls. Thats his job. He has been doing it for the last 6 years and Im pretty sure if hes not around then no girls shirts are getting wet. I wonder if this is a marketable skill he can use back in Australia, “oh shit, we organised this wet t shirt competition but we never once stopped to think how the water gets from the tap and onto these skanky 18 year olds…. wait… I know a guy we can call” To clear things up however, I hold no moral grudge with a wet t shirt competition and it gets more fun when you start putting bets on the outcome.

One of the many clubs in Ios. “White sensation party”? I thought that was an early working title for “One Nation” (or True Finns / Sweden Democrats, pick your country). When will Estonian organise and concentrate its racism into one political party so I can pick on it to? Anyway, it is true that it is sensational to be white (to paraphrase Louis CK)

The island aint bad and my tan is coming back. I wish I had more to report but Im having a major lack of motivation. In Greece you say? I know, I am always a cultural outsider.

lots of very pretty alley ways in Ios. DONT WORRY! Another bar is just around the corner


In left to ponder car bumper stickers instead. Now I am no legal eagle but Im pretty sure that street racing IS a crime, even here on Ios where every conceivable form of debauchery seems only a few steps away. See, the politicians took the time to make laws about speed limits and even made a whole system for licensing drivers to ensure they had some form of basic proficiency behind the wheel but they specifically left a clause so that you and your dumb ass racer boy wanna be buddies who have no more driving experience than completing a new laps of the Nurburgring on playstation, can hoon your 1980 Honda Civics with the hole in the exhaust around town, ideally if possible in build up areas so you have a good chance of hitting a kid or worse, anyone else.

Thats an awful lot of italics, I may have just written more of this blog in italics than in regular font. Did I mention it is very exciting here?

By Louis Zezeran

Louis Zezeran is an Australian Stand Up comedian and comedy promoter based in Tallinn, Estonia. He was the co-founder of Comedy Estonia, Comedy Finland and Comedy Latvia. Louis writes, does gigs and performs at private events through the Baltics and Finland

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *