USA USA USA

The writings are cultural learnings are slow to come, am I having a crisis of faith? have I discovered drugs? yes. and that drug is called "darkness" and I am addicted to it 12 hours a day here and by "addicated" I mean "subjected without end". Thats todays english call finished with.

Blogging in Sweden isnt too much fun well because… there isnt too much to blog about, yes sure there are some cultural learnings to be made, dont think Ive lost my love for cheap and shallow stereotypes, oh no thats as strong as ever, its just living each day is well.. living. I go to work, hide under the desk for atleast 5 hours avoiding my workmates, spend another 2 just randomly walking around the building looking busy. Its awesome, I am split between two departments so if you LOOK busy, 1 group assumes you are busy for the other group and noone is the wiser. Except all those others who hang around the coffee machine, we all share a dark secret.

Anyway, life is life is sweden is life is just the same anywhere really, where was I.. oh yes going to work, coming home, having dinner, sleeping, getting up going to work, having a drink on friday night and getting to bed before middnight because you are all hard working and mature now. Thats lifes road, dont forget that kids.

shit, ive been listening to A LOT of Stephen Colbert lately and now I sound like him. Or atleast in my mind I sound like him. To everyone else I sound more like Steve Vizard impersonating Derryn Hinch on Fast Forward. Complete with beard and short sentences. Yes. Salman Rushdie I am not. How can you be a "sir" and have the name of a fish? A fatwa on you! Now where was I….

Anyway, the next two weeks Im off to… USA USA USA!! I cant just say it once, I have to write it three times and then grunt it out like the high school quarterback, see I have been doing my research for this trip like I do for anywhere else, by studying the most stupid stereotypes I can from that culture and then mercilessly mocking them with things that probably arnt even true. USA USA USA. If you put those together you get US-AUS-AUS-A. Think about it folks.

Im going to american because this bloke whom you may remember, is getting married!

Mr D Quinn, formerly of Salamder Bay, formerly of Parry Street Newcastle, formerly of Vaasa Finland is getting married to a lovely American girl called Carisa. Cast your minds back to over a year ago when the white Volvo had made it to Krakow in Poland. Adam and Dieter were chilling in Nathans hostel, I had just flown in from Sweden and we were heading south to Austria. Then Dieter met Carisa and ran off with her. It took 4 other people to replace him you know, thats how much of a guy he is.

And its a Eurotrip reunion again! Adam and Mandy are coming, as is a newly married James, its going to be happy happy days, the service is happening in Pittsburgh and I am flying Stockholm to NY on sunday. After that i COULD have flown to Pittsburgh but thats for wimps, instead its time for a 2 day.. ALL AMERICAN ROAD TRIP. Thast right, Im going to have a cowboy hat and the entire Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen back catalouges. Im going to be a rebel, a bad ass, living by my whits, not letting the man get me down, not letting them take my gun until its prised from my cold dead hand. Oh shit theres almost too many stereotypes to go through, I barely know where to start. Ill be like Thelma and Louise except with a Y chromosome.

I have rented a car through "Budget" and you dont get to know the specific car type until the day. I booked something a bit bigger, something with room, hopefully something with a decent engine. Its going to be a bad ass american machine. See in my mind, Im going to get this

When really, Im going to get this.

Wood paneling, the best addition to a car the world has ever known.

Its all happening this sunday.   Wait, its only 8 hours on a plane and not say.. the 24 back to Australia? AWESOME. Rubber Ducky thats a big over and out.

By Louis Zezeran

Louis Zezeran is an Australian Stand Up comedian and comedy promoter based in Tallinn, Estonia. He was the co-founder of Comedy Estonia, Comedy Finland and Comedy Latvia. Louis writes, does gigs and performs at private events through the Baltics and Finland

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